Tuesday, 26 May 2015

Super Mum or Super Slob?

Before I became a mum, I wrote this and this about finding and making time in the day for all the things that mattered.

I have now been a mum of two for almost five months. I know, I know, it will get harder, I will soon have two walking toddlers etc etc. I know all this. But I also know that so far, even with a baby who nurses every two hours and a toddler who wants constant attention every waking minute(I guess toddlers are synonymous with constant attention) I have still managed to do most of the things that are important to me.

I have help. I get help, because I ask for it (a huge lesson for me)! It doesn't always work, but most of the time it does. But since becoming a mum of two, I have managed to:

1. Train for a triathlon relay
It wasn't easy, especially in the haze of those first few newborn weeks, where the shock and realisation that I will not be sleeping for more than two hour intervals hit me... But I made it, mostly with the help of my husband and an obliging toddler who slept religiously for two hours every day.

2. Race a triathlon relay (and come second)!
On top of it all, it was fun. Couldn't have done it without my darling husband looking after the kids, while I cycled round Spetses island.

3. Finished my first book
Yes, this is how I worked. Sometimes while babies slept, sometimes while someone else looked after J, sometimes in the middle of the night after O had woken up and would not go back to sleep. A lot of it, in the early days of motherhood, happened with the baby strapped to me - he seemed to be happiest close to me and enjoyed the typing rhythm.

4. Sent off (what feels like) hundreds of queries for another writing project
This one has been the 'boring' part of writing - the quering tons of agents and publishers. It also looks like it might have paid off... Fingers crossed.

And just so that you don't think this is a brag-fest, here is a list of the things that I have not done:

1. Cleaned my house very well...

2. Ironed any baby clothes

3. Kept in touch with friends (shame on me)

4. Been to any playgroups

What I mean to say is simple: we make time for the things that are important to us. At the moment being with my kids, staying healthy through exercise and writing, for pleasure and professionally, have been top of my list. Other things have naturally slipped. I'm OK with that. I make peace with the fact that I don't iron my kids' clothes (ahem... or anything else for that matter) and that my kitchen occasionally resembles a bomb site. I don't go to playgroups, mainly because they are at inconvenient times that overlap with my kids' naptime and naptimes are sacred. I also work well on the fly - ten minutes here, four minutes there... which is why a lot of my writing happens on my phone (I know...)

At the end of the day my kids are clean, well-rested and happy. They have a mum who is also fulfilled and keeps engaging with the world in roles others than just as a mother, and a dad who is hands-on and involved in all aspects of child rearing. Isn't that all that matters?


  1. I love this! There is definitely something to be said for taking care of yourself and making yourself a priority, while parenting. Not only does it set a good example, but it also helps you to be a better parent, because you are at peace with yourself and your life.

    Bethany @ Online Therapy and Coaching

  2. Absolutely! It is particular hard in this culture (in Greece) where motherhood is very often synonymous to martyrdom... But that might be another post altogether.

  3. A really important post here. I read something on Facebook the other day that sad 'I'm going to do more of what makes me happy' and I (depressingly) added 'me too, if I can find the time'. And there's the reality - in order to do the former, we have to give up other things, whether that be ironing or seeing friends. I'm not sure I could give up the latter sadly! Well done you though. What an achievement!

    1. In a way I was never much of a social person and seeing friends has never been top of my agenda (neither has ironing, as it happens). Also, living a little out of the way in a non-urban setting makes seeing friends a little harder too...
      For many people seeing friends IS what makes them happy. For others (gosh, I am an introvert!) reading a good book is much more pleasurable. Isn't part of growing up finding out what makes us happy?



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