Adoption can be dark. We often forget the "before" and concentrate on the "after". But adoption is just as much about the "before" as it is about what follows. It is about the how and why our children get to us, as much as what happens when they are here. In fact, the one affects the other so much, that they cannot help but be interconnected.
We owe it to our future kids to be committed, we owe it to them to have done our homework. To be ready to fight for them, to be ready to parent in ways that we might not have considered before.
International adoption is even harder, in many ways. It is frought with dangers, corruption, difficulties. We need to go into it with our eyes wide-open. I feel we have and we continue on our journey, in the woods, firmly on the lookout.
International adoption is an imperfect solution, in an imperfect world. We know this, we don't pretend that being adopted by us is the best thing that could have happened to anyone... Not because we are bad people, but because, first families come first. Extended families come second. A home in their country of origin comes next. International adoption is the imperfect solution, in the imperfect world where none of the above solutions are possible.
Adoption is a leap of faith. Parenthood is a leap of faith. An irreversible change of fortune, for better or worse. I easily get scared, worry about what it will be like. In the books I've read, in the blogs I've followed, there are examples of less-than-happy ever afters, just as much as there are success stories. Nobody knows how it will go. We only know that we are committed. For better, or worse...